Ready 2 Relaunch

It's amazing what Life uses to teach us lessons and show us things. In my case this week it was the decision by DC Comics to relaunch their entire publications line. What that means is that EVERY title they publish will begin a new with issue #1. A new beginning, a new start, new costumes, new or tweaked origins, and a slightly confusing list of what pre-relaunch events still "count."

When I first read this, I was actually UPSET. "What do you mean Wondergirl and Kid Flash never existed?" "You mean Batgirl NEVER BECAME ORACLE?" "Supeman never married Lois Lane?" The list goes on and on. I was deeply disturbed that these stories and characters that I had invested YEARS of my life in, that I had followed every month since I was a child  "no longer counted." That they had "never happened." (Save all the geek jokes... I take ownership of what I am... LOL).

Then suddenly it hit me like an epiphany. "These are fictional stories. They didn't ever REALLY happen." I realized that the fact that no one was going to continue writing these stories, doesn't make them any more or less real than they were before, I could ALWAYS go back and reread stories from that 'universe' and enjoy them as I always had. The problem was that my attachment to things from the past was not letting me appreciate the exciting new thing that was right in front of me.

How often are we unhealthily attached to things from our past? How many people bring past relationships into new ones, making people pay for the things that someone else did, or being afraid to take risks or try something new because of past failures or experiences? How many of us are stuck in old habits, accepting mediocrity or poor health, or other negative situations because we won't let go, won't forgive those who hurt us, and often,won't forgive OURSELVES, so that we don't live our lives thinking we deserve whatever meager crumbs circumstance throws our way?

The truth of the matter is that you can't change yesterday, and you can't predict what tomorrow will bring. The best that you can do is accept what has happened, learn from it and move on. Be open to new experiences. Make it a point to Live. REALLY LIVE. Scripture tells us that His mercies are new every morning, and that is what every morning is. It's an opportunity to start again.To reboot. To change directions. Maybe it's a major change, maybe it's baby steps, but find the step you need to start moving in the right direction and take it! You can do it!

What can you do to relaunch your life today?

Making History

For the first time in forever, I am inspired to write by a career politician. Well, by him and by the people that have decided it is their job to hold me accountable to the fact that my promised weekly posts have not happened since late February (you know who you are).


Anyway, I have been anxiously following the situation with our Government and the impending shut down. Not following it like any normal American who needs to be informed about the world around him so that he is caught up for discussions by the coffee pot in the break room, but like a man whose wife works for the Federal government and who, if the shut down were to happen, would be without a big chunk of the family income.


So, as you can imagine, I was elated this evening at around 10:55 when the program I had been watching was interrupted by a special report that an agreement had been reached and a shut down avoided. I quickly switched over to the news to get the information and hear how each party was going to try to spin this as their victory.


After the President stood, window behind him and the Washington monument over his shoulder, and made his speech invoking the spirit of compromise and letters from a parent of an elementary school aged child that was carefully constructed and on the teleprompter, we switched over to the much less eloquent Senators. I was getting ready to change the channel out of boredom when  U.S. Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell said something that woke me up and got my mind racing. He said:


We had an opportunity tonight to decide whether we wanted to repeat history or make history, Had we chosen to repeat history, we would have allowed a government shutdown. Instead we decided to make history by implementing in the middle of this fiscal year as the Majority Leader has indicated substantial reductions in spending.


The opportunity to decide whether we wanted to repeat history or make history. What a powerful statement. It made me think about my life, and how many times I accept mediocrity or worse because it is comfortable, because it is what I am used to or because it is safe. 


Stop and think for a minute about the things we put up with, the things we accept, because it is how we were taught to live, to think or because it was what we were taught to expect.


I went to a Middle School for the gifted and talented. It was a public middle school that required one pass a test to get in. Interestingly enough, this middle school used a scripture as it's motto. Luke 12:48 "For everyone to whom much is given, of him much shall be required." And boy did they expect a lot from us. Rigorous courses, high standards, and ultimately the best high schools and colleges. We were ALL going to college. That was a given for us.


I had a friend at that school that I will never forget. His name was Robert. Robert wore a tie every day to school. It wasn't required, but he did. And while the rest of us had our backpacks with our books, I kid you not, Robert carried a briefcase. He was going to be somebody. As the 8th grade came to a close and we were all finding out which of the big 3 specialized High Schools we were going to (or 4 if you counted music and art...I made M and H, but ultimately decided to go to Brooklyn Technical High School for Engineering and Science... Shout out to my Technite peeps).


Robert found out that he had gotten accepted to Stuyvesant. Now as a Technite, I have an intense rivalry with Stuy kids, just as any Yale grad would have rivalry with a Harvard grad... and I will admit, just this once, that Stuyvesant was the Harvard of High Schools, and Robert had gotten in... but his world came to a grinding halt, when his mother refused to let him go and told him that Bushwick High School was good enough for his brothers and sisters and it would be good enough for him. He wasn't going to some big deal school aaaaalll the way in Manhattan, when there was a perfectly good high school right up the block.


Let me put this in perspective for you. No offense to graduates of Bushwick High School, but imagine getting accepted to Harvard on a full scholarship and having your parent tell you that you had to go to the local community college... and I don't mean Valencia "98 percent of our AA grads go on to four year universities" community college. I mean hardly funded, if you have a diploma you get in, I am going here for a piece of paper so that I can get a dollar more an hour at my job diploma mill community college. 


That is what happened to Robert. Bushwick wasn't just a neighborhood school in a bad neighborhood. It was kind of a battle ground and a place where I wondered even then, if Robert would survive... I certainly couldn't imagine him coming out unscathed. I felt bad for him. I wish I could give you a great report and make this an inspiring story of his triumph, but I lost track of him pretty quickly after middle school. He didn't come to the reunion that we held and, to be honest, I haven't thought about him much before tonight.


But his future was hampered by a mother's decision to repeat history. "If it is good enough for your brothers and sisters..." Wow... 


It's time that many of us decided that we are tired of good enough. Good enough grades, good enough ministries, good enough relationships, good enough work habits, good enough mental, emotional and spiritual health, good enough finances... the list goes on and on. It's time to take risks, to be bold and intentional, the time has come to look for opportunities to MAKE HISTORY in your life.


Stop repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Stop doing things JUST because that's the way it's always been done, the way my Mom or Dad do it. Stop accepting second hand treatment because you don't think you deserve any better... YOU DO! Aren't you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Break the humdrum monotony that is suffocating your creativity and joy and passion and GO FOR IT! Whatever IT is in your life. 


I know, I know, I sound like a motivational speaker vying for a talk show, but the truth is I believe it. I believe that I am uniquely designed and have a passion and a calling and strengths and talents and it's okay to recognize that; to look in the mirror and say "Man, when God made you, he broke the mold. There are things He gave you when He made you and you are going to face every day looking for an opportunity to use those things to make a difference; to make your world, your day, the very best world and day that it can possibly be."


Making history for you might not mean agreeing to a budget that keeps a government running. It might mean choosing to get up a half hour earlier to pray or meditate, it might mean choosing to turn off the television and go for a walk, it may involve choosing to drink water today instead of a coke, a diet coke or a beer, maybe it means actually listening to your spouse and having a real conversation like the ones you used to have when you were young and in love, or getting a sitter and going on a date, or leading someone to Christ, or writing that song, or that poem. Maybe it's bigger. Maybe it involves stepping out on faith and listening to His voice and instead of doing what is comfortable or what is safe, following your passion to your dream. I believe HE gives us dreams, but we need to be bold and trust Him enough to follow Him to their completion. Maybe it means taking calculated risks and diving without a net.


Abraham did it when he put Issac on the sacrificial altar. David did it when he stood before a giant that had an entire army quivering in their shoes. Peter did it when he left the 11 sitting in the boat and chose to do the impossible and walk on water. Abraham Lincoln did it when he signed the Emancipation Proclamation. Our forefathers did it when they signed the Declaration of Independence. Rosa Parks did it when she refused to give up her seat on the bus. People do it every day... MAKE HISTORY... some in big ways that are noticed by many and others in small ways that might not be noticed by anyone but themselves. History making moments from which nothing can go back to being the same. 


You can do it. 
I believe in you.


How will you MAKE HISTORY today?

Nothing Gold Can Stay

A student of mine...a young girl of 12 maybe 13 years old, was in tears two days ago as she came to my class. Seeing her distraught and obviously too emotional to sit in class and be productive, but rather set to be a complete disruption to class, I allowed my students to work on their bellwork ("Do Now" in some circles), and had her step outside where I asked her what was the matter.

"He broke up with me Mr. V!" she cried with all the emotion of someone who had been on the receiving end of utter tragedy. She then proceeded between sobs to tell me how much she REALLY loved him, and how he, in all of his 13 year old wisdom, said he needed to end it because he "needed his space." How could he do this to her? She had given him the best weeks of her life! I was struggling a bit not to laugh or minimize her heart break, because I knew, that although I have a lifetime of experience that tells me that she is going to someday learn true tragedy and go through suffering of consequence, and how her 12 year old life was NOT really over, I had to understand that she only had the filter of her youth and inexperience with which to compare and measure her suffering and, for her, this pain and suffering and heartbreak were real, and there was going to be no "Oh grow up and get over it" that was going to be effective.

So I reassured her that any guy that would hold her and her feelings in such low regard was not worthy of her, and tried to explain to her that, at her age, she needed to be working on being the best HER that she could be and love herself and get to know herself and God before she went around giving away anything as precious and priceless as her heart. I guess I tried to treat her the way I would hope someone would treat my daughter, if they were someone she trusted and saw her heartbroken over something.

I was thinking about her the rest of the afternoon; about how a chapter of her life was now written... it was in the books. First Broken Heart? Check. I was struck by the idea that she will never be the same again. Oh, she will be happy, she will have happy days, she will love again, and hopefully someday with some wisdom to go with the emotion, she will even push this experience our of her mind and not really think about it, unless drawn to by a person or a circumstance... but no matter how far removed she is from the pain and from the memory, she CANNOT go back to the innocence of pre-heartbreak.

It made me think of one of my favorite poems by Robert Frost, quoted by S.E. Hinton in The Outsiders:

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

We all have experiences that mark us. Pain, sorrow, heartbreak, consequences from mistakes or poor choices... things that have marked our lives forever. The gold of innocence, the perfection of Eden, the BEST DAY EVER, the most amazing or romantic or fun, or WHATEVER experience it all comes to an end.

Depressing huh? Not the kind of uplifting brainstorm that you were expecting? Be patient... I'm being intentional.

My students experience led me to think about my first love. You see I am married to my very best friend. She is the love of my life, my soul mate, my partner, my biggest fan, my strongest advocate... I could go on and on. That being said, all it takes is the right song to play on the radio or the scent of the right perfume and my mind can in an instant say "Oh, that's the perfume so and so used to wear" or "Hey. that was our song, I haven't heard that in like forever." Does that show infidelity on my part or longing? Not at all. It simply means that there are sensory memories that are forever tied to this experience in my life, and my brain recalls the memory when presented with the sensory trigger. The same thing happens when I walk into a place and smell the aroma of certain foods... it can trigger the memory of my grandmother's cooking, or my aunt's pastelon, or the smell of curry goat that brings me back to pot luck meals at the Hispanic-Guyanese Church of my childhood.

Anyway, the point is that the relationship of which I speak, ended REALLY badly. My heart was broken and at the time, you could not convince me that "All things come together for good." But that heartbreak shaped me, that relationship taught me much about myself and what I wanted and what I deserved from life and from love, so that when the love of my life came into my life, I was ready to appreciate just what a treasure I had found. I don't cherish the heartbreak, but given the chance, I wouldn't go back and change it, because it prepared me for so many of the blessings I would not otherwise have today.

The reality is that once innocence is lost, once certain things are experienced, they cannot be undone, we cannot go back to who we were before. Even if we find forgiveness, joy, salvation, redemption, grace, mercy many times we still have to deal with the consequences of the abuse, the pain, the decision. Children can't be unborn, youth can't be regained, money can't be remade (you can reestablish yourself, be even better richer than you were before, but you won't get back the money you lost, that's gone, this is new money).

The secret is to see the gold while it is there. To be able to live every moment as if it were the most precious gift that we could receive, to know that I may not be able to turn back the clock, but I can make today the best today it can possibly be. I am going to cling to God, and to the things that ARE eternal and unchanging and perfect, and TRULY valuable and important and recognize that good experiences should be treasures and negative ones can be learned from.

As for my student? Yesterday, she came into my class bouncing off the walls with happiness. When I asked her what was up, she informed me that he had come to her that day and said that he had made a mistake, that he loved her and wanted her back. "What did you say?" I asked her. She laughed and said " I told him NO! I told him that he had missed his chance, and that if he couldn't appreciate me before, then he wasn't getting another chance to mess things up again." I smiled... maybe she HAD listened through the tears, or maybe she's just a vengeful type who could not pass up the chance to hurt him back. Either way, yesterday had faded into today, and she had used the experience to grow and be empowered... she was not as innocent as she was the day before, but she was wiser, and that wisdom would carry her to many bright, happy, gold tomorrows.

The Power of One

I've been thinking quite a bit about the year 2011. A lot of people have been taking note of all of the "one" dates that are on the calendar... 1-1-11, 1-11-11, 11-1-11 and of course, 11-11-11. I have heard a lot of rhetoric regarding that number. "It's a year of new beginnings" and "It's a year for a fresh start" or "if you will just sow a seed of $1.11, or $11.11, $111.11, or $1,111,11 you will find your miracle in 2011."


Sounds kind of funny doesn't it? For me, the numbers have gotten me thinking about something else. The POWER of ONE.


Loren Eisely tells a story that has been an inspiration for me for at least 10 years. It goes like this:
Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."


Recently I was shopping for groceries, when a man tapped me on the shoulder. He must have been in his late 20's and he had a little girl in his arms that must have been 2 or 3 years old. He looked at me and said "Mr V.? You probably don't remember me but like 10 years ago I was in your Latin American Lit class back at Tech (Brooklyn Technical High School). I was really kind of quiet and sat in the back, kind of in the corner. I just wanted to tell you that it was your class that made me want to be a teacher. I'm a high school teacher now, and I always hoped that someday I would be able to thank you... so...thanks." I told him how it was things like that which made what I did worthwhile, and thanked him for remembering me.


I didn't really remember him at the time, and, to be perfectly honest, my memory of him in my class is still pretty vague. But somehow, I made an impact, and in a way I have influence today in the lives of every student that he teaches and inspires. My starfish is now rescuing starfish of his own.


Helen Keller said, “"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."


Scripture is full of example after example of the power of one. One boy was instrumental in feeding a multitude, not because he had much, but because he was willing to share what he had;  One woman named Esther was instrumental in saving a nation;  One man named Moses was instrumental in freeing a nation from slavery; One boy named David killed a giant and secured victory for a mighty army; One girl named Mary was the vessel that brought salvation into the world.


History tells us of One woman named Rosa Parks, who sparked a social revolution; One man named Ghandi, who not only inspired his own people, but countless people generations later in other parts of the world, to follow his example.


So rather than look at my limitations, I choose to look at what I CAN do, who I CAN help, what kind of a difference I CAN make. I am going to maximize every opportunity that I find every day to be an example, to love, to stand up, to be a reflection of HIS light so that others can see HIM through me, regardless of my circumstances, or frustrations, or uncertainties, I am going to believe that with HIM all things are possible, He has ordered my steps and so I have a purpose and I CAN and I WILL make a difference within my personal sphere of influence. People will be better for having known me, because I have known HIM.


What opportunities are you taking to maximize your impact within your sphere of influence?